Every year on February 6th and 7th I go to visit my little brothers grave site. After that I go see a good funny stupid movie that he would make fun of me for seeing and probably really liked as well. But I do this to remember Just how sweet and funny he was. I love Mckay and have lost him here on earth. It will be 9 years tomorrow. Every year It feels different on the 6th I remember saying good bye. I remember how happy and exited he was. He was going snowboarding and had been practicing all week. I am a mom now and can't image losing a child. This is the first time I have put my thoughts down about it all. I have been blessed that my family talked openly about how we are feeling. But this year is a little different. What I mean by that is the memory feels a little foggy and that scares me a little. The sadness fells that same but his face and laugh and voice is dim. Mckay was 16 and the kind of person who everyone loved. At his funeral there were so many people and all different in so many ways. That made a really impression on me. I don't know why I chose to write any of this but everyday and every year I am sad that mckay had to go but I know that I did not say good bye I said I love you and see you later. I believe that is will see him again and that we will pick up were we left off. If anyone who reads this has lost someone and you are having a hard time I found my peace through my faith. I am a ladder day saint all so known as mormon. I know that my heavenly father loves me and would never give me something I could not handle. So again I hope I helped someone by writing this down. I love my family and fell so blessed that the lord picked them for me.
