Music and Wishing

Monday, July 16, 2012

My crazy little girl.

I have a problem keeping things in. I like to tell people how I feel but I am trying to find the line between getting it off my chest and just making it a problem. It is hard when you feel that you should just say it already and get it over with and move on. Than you have to think will this change anything for the better or make it worse. I have to say I love my family because when it comes to how you feel it is so easy for me to tell them. We don't have to agree but I still respect them and they respect me. Why can't other people be like that. Say it and work it out. I really don't like people who can't see past them self or don't even think “maybe this should be a conversation” No they think it and just do it with out the curtsy of asking anyone. Well they can suck it. Again the problem of keeping it in. Well I can't really say the problem but I guess I will figure it out. Trying to be an example for my little girl.

Monday, February 6, 2012

Love and Loss

Every year on February 6th and 7th I go to visit my little brothers grave site. After that I go see a good funny stupid movie that he would make fun of me for seeing and probably really liked as well. But I do this to remember Just how sweet and funny he was. I love Mckay and have lost him here on earth. It will be 9 years tomorrow. Every year It feels different on the 6th I remember saying good bye. I remember how happy and exited he was. He was going snowboarding and had been practicing all week. I am a mom now and can't image losing a child. This is the first time I have put my thoughts down about it all. I have been blessed that my family talked openly about how we are feeling. But this year is a little different. What I mean by that is the memory feels a little foggy and that scares me a little. The sadness fells that same but his face and laugh and voice is dim. Mckay was 16 and the kind of person who everyone loved. At his funeral there were so many people and all different in so many ways. That made a really impression on me. I don't know why I chose to write any of this but everyday and every year I am sad that mckay had to go but I know that I did not say good bye I said I love you and see you later. I believe that is will see him again and that we will pick up were we left off. If anyone who reads this has lost someone and you are having a hard time I found my peace through my faith. I am a ladder day saint all so known as mormon. I know that my heavenly father loves me and would never give me something I could not handle. So again I hope I helped someone by writing this down. I love my family and fell so blessed that the lord picked them for me.

Monday, October 31, 2011

MY LITTLE GIRL IS GROWING UP!

I made milla an orange butter cream cake with orange zest. I have to say it was amazing.

Milla was the black swan for holloween. Not many got it but I thought it was great.

Getting ready to knock on some doors.

Not willing to share her candy....

I love this face. I am one lucky mom and so proud to have a little crazy in my life.

Friday, October 21, 2011

My Little Fam.

My little girl will be turning 2 years old. I can't believe that we have come so far. Milan and I have been married 7 years and we are still trying to figure stuff out, but my little Milla is the best thing we ever did. For anyone who has watched her, can say that she has a real spirit about her. Yes, that little ball of fire has put me to the test, but I like to think that Milan and I have grown closer together and have a better understanding of what we want for this little family. I can say that Milla and Milan have made me a better mother, wife and all around person. For anyone out there who disagrees, kiss it! I am getting ready to through Milla's birthday party and I am making cakes and cupcakes. I have found some really cute ideas and will take pictures so you all can see. But for now wish me luck.